Spiritual Awakening
Before my visit to see Granny last weekend, my heart was hard. I had just told a friend how I envied others who had such a strong desire and longing to learn more about Jesus. That sounds terrible. It is terrible. I mean, I loved God and I was thankful He was in my life. I was thankful for His blessings. And when I ran into problems, He was the first one I called to help me. That was the problem, though. I waited until I "needed" Him to seek Him out with all my heart. How wrong is that???
I knew there was a time in my life when I had longed to spend time with Him on a daily basis. I knew there were times in my life when I felt closer to Him. I wanted that back but couldn't figure out how to get there. My friend told me about a Beth Moore conference. I thought, "Sign me up! That's when I'll recommit my life and that's when I'll be able to find that relationship I used to have with Him!". I was very excited about it! When I look back at that now, it just makes me shake my head. What a sad, sad way to think. I don't need a conference to reconnect to Jesus! Sure, conferences are great and really help with spiritual growth. But, how silly is it for me to WAIT to have that relationship with Him months down the road? I knew God would have my attention then and I would be "all ears" and ready to listen to Him. How silly is it to have to schedule an "appointment" to strengthen my relationship with Him?
God spoke volumes to me last weekend when I was with my Grandmother, my Aunts and my Mom. God opened my eyes to so many things I had been missing, but were right there in front of me! It started with Saturday morning. I was the first one up. The house was quiet. I didn't have a computer. I didn't know how to turn on the TV. As I was trying to think of something to do, God reminded me of the 3 devotional books my Aunt Donna put out in our bedroom. So, I grabbed one and started to read and pray. Then, I went on about my day with my Grandmother, Aunts and my Mom and it was then that God started to talk to me and I actually begin to hear His voice.
On the second morning, I was the first one up again. My Aunt Donna had layed out a couple more devotional books the night before. I grabbed one and started to read. It was that day that God really opened my eyes. That is what I was missing! It was plain as day to see. I just couldn't see it because I was too busy and too preoccupied to see it. God knew, though, that I was ready to see it and ready to hear His voice.
What had been missing in my life was a relationship (time alone with Him, me seeking Him, my whole hearted dependence on Him)! I can't expect to have a close relationship with God if I never spend time with Him. I know this, but had gotten so busy with life, I forgot. It was once I started seeking Him out, that I found Him! He never left my side. He was just waiting for me to get off of facebook, get away from my lists, playgroups and schedules and seek Him. He was there waiting for me all the time!
Wow! How awesome is that?! Do I deserve that kind of love? No! But for Him to love me so much to wait on me...Wow! That is love!
It has been a week today since I started spending time with Him first thing in the morning. I can't express how much closer this has brought me to Him. I can't wait to get up in the morning now and see what He wants to show me! I am excited to spend time with Him and I long to see what He will teach me in those quite hours! I feel His presence. I feel His peace. It is this closeness that I have been missing. This relationship is what it's about. When God is first in your life, everything else falls into place. When God is first in your life, you find peace!
I know I will continue to encounter various trials. I will still have to make hard decisions everyday. My kids will fight. I will struggle with trying to be a good mother and wife. I will still face issues with work. I will still encounter sickness and hardships as I go through life. But this I know....If God is first in my life and I have a close relationship with Him, when I encounter these various trials, I will be able to get through them so much easier. I will have peace knowing He is in control.
This is nothing new to me. I have been taught this all of my life. It's just recently, though, that I have been reminded of it and ready to believe it with all my heart! I am so thankful for my trip last weekend. It has forever changed me. I don't want another day to go by where I don't take time to nurture my relationship with God. My prayer is that my relationship will grow stronger and stronger each day and others will see Jesus through me.
One of the first things I used to do when I woke up was grab a cup of coffee and then sit down at the computer to check on what everyone else had going on through facebook. I have made a commitment to God not to touch my computer until I have spent time with Him. The playgroups, parties, field trips, pictures, status updates etc... should never come before my relationship with God. Thank you God for showing me this!
Thank you God for being there for me. Thank you God for never leaving me even when I put you at the bottom of my list for the day. Thank you for not giving up on me! Thank you for loving me even though I don't deserve it!
I knew there was a time in my life when I had longed to spend time with Him on a daily basis. I knew there were times in my life when I felt closer to Him. I wanted that back but couldn't figure out how to get there. My friend told me about a Beth Moore conference. I thought, "Sign me up! That's when I'll recommit my life and that's when I'll be able to find that relationship I used to have with Him!". I was very excited about it! When I look back at that now, it just makes me shake my head. What a sad, sad way to think. I don't need a conference to reconnect to Jesus! Sure, conferences are great and really help with spiritual growth. But, how silly is it for me to WAIT to have that relationship with Him months down the road? I knew God would have my attention then and I would be "all ears" and ready to listen to Him. How silly is it to have to schedule an "appointment" to strengthen my relationship with Him?
God spoke volumes to me last weekend when I was with my Grandmother, my Aunts and my Mom. God opened my eyes to so many things I had been missing, but were right there in front of me! It started with Saturday morning. I was the first one up. The house was quiet. I didn't have a computer. I didn't know how to turn on the TV. As I was trying to think of something to do, God reminded me of the 3 devotional books my Aunt Donna put out in our bedroom. So, I grabbed one and started to read and pray. Then, I went on about my day with my Grandmother, Aunts and my Mom and it was then that God started to talk to me and I actually begin to hear His voice.
On the second morning, I was the first one up again. My Aunt Donna had layed out a couple more devotional books the night before. I grabbed one and started to read. It was that day that God really opened my eyes. That is what I was missing! It was plain as day to see. I just couldn't see it because I was too busy and too preoccupied to see it. God knew, though, that I was ready to see it and ready to hear His voice.
What had been missing in my life was a relationship (time alone with Him, me seeking Him, my whole hearted dependence on Him)! I can't expect to have a close relationship with God if I never spend time with Him. I know this, but had gotten so busy with life, I forgot. It was once I started seeking Him out, that I found Him! He never left my side. He was just waiting for me to get off of facebook, get away from my lists, playgroups and schedules and seek Him. He was there waiting for me all the time!
Wow! How awesome is that?! Do I deserve that kind of love? No! But for Him to love me so much to wait on me...Wow! That is love!
It has been a week today since I started spending time with Him first thing in the morning. I can't express how much closer this has brought me to Him. I can't wait to get up in the morning now and see what He wants to show me! I am excited to spend time with Him and I long to see what He will teach me in those quite hours! I feel His presence. I feel His peace. It is this closeness that I have been missing. This relationship is what it's about. When God is first in your life, everything else falls into place. When God is first in your life, you find peace!
I know I will continue to encounter various trials. I will still have to make hard decisions everyday. My kids will fight. I will struggle with trying to be a good mother and wife. I will still face issues with work. I will still encounter sickness and hardships as I go through life. But this I know....If God is first in my life and I have a close relationship with Him, when I encounter these various trials, I will be able to get through them so much easier. I will have peace knowing He is in control.
This is nothing new to me. I have been taught this all of my life. It's just recently, though, that I have been reminded of it and ready to believe it with all my heart! I am so thankful for my trip last weekend. It has forever changed me. I don't want another day to go by where I don't take time to nurture my relationship with God. My prayer is that my relationship will grow stronger and stronger each day and others will see Jesus through me.
One of the first things I used to do when I woke up was grab a cup of coffee and then sit down at the computer to check on what everyone else had going on through facebook. I have made a commitment to God not to touch my computer until I have spent time with Him. The playgroups, parties, field trips, pictures, status updates etc... should never come before my relationship with God. Thank you God for showing me this!
Thank you God for being there for me. Thank you God for never leaving me even when I put you at the bottom of my list for the day. Thank you for not giving up on me! Thank you for loving me even though I don't deserve it!
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