This Is My Story, This Is My Song

"This is my story.  This is my song.  Praising my Savior all the day long."

About a year ago, I blogged about "my story".  You can read the first part of it HERE.  It took about 5 blog posts to write everything.  I guess "my story" is kind of long.  I ended my last post with this...

"Our stories never end until God calls us home to be with Him.  I am learning and growing everyday.  And no matter what happens, He is with me!  For that, I am grateful!  Isn't God good?"

Now, it's time to confess...

When I ended that post, I selfishly hoped that God would continue to write my story in Tulsa, OK.  Why wouldn't he?  He brought us there.  He helped us learn to love it there.  He gave us friends that were some of the best friends we had ever had.  My boys liked it there so much.  We had the best neighbors ever.  We loved, loved, loved our Church!  Everything was great!  

And then it all changed.  

My story was not going to end in Tulsa as I had hoped.

God opened up a door for Bart in Dallas, TX and clearly showed us it was His will for us to move.

Are you sure, God?  How could this be?  We have a GREAT life here in Tulsa!  We LOVE it here!  My boys like school.  My boys have great friends here.  Tulsa is what they know.  How can you ask me to change their schools in the middle of the year?  Don't you know how shy they are?  How will they make new friends?  How can you ask me to take them out of the Church they love?  How can this be, God?

And God showed us over and over again that it was indeed His will for our family to move to Texas.

Wow!

I confess that I lived in a state of denial until the movers showed up to pack us.  Even then, I don't think it really hit me.  I was in such a state of shock.  I don't like change.  I don't do well with change.  My boys don't like change.  They also don't handle change well.  How were we going to get through this?   

I know God has a reason for everything and I completely trust Him, but why??  Why God??  I confess, I feared the worse.  I feared the boys would hate their new schools.  I feared others would not be excepting of the new kids in school.  I feared they would absolutely hate it and beg not to go back.  I feared they would cry to me at night.  I feared I would cry every day when I had to force them to go.  I constantly thought of the worst things that could happen.  All along, though, God kept saying, "Trust Me, Tonya.  Trust Me.  I did not bring you to Texas to abandon you.  I am with You.  I am with your boys.  I was here before you.  I was waiting for you.  I will never leave you.  I will never forsake you.  Trust Me.  I have a plan!  Trust Me!"  

A couple of things that friends said to me through this move have really stuck with me.  One said, "Do you know what kind of gift you are giving your boys by moving them?  Do you know how much this is going to help them in life?  This will be a big life lesson for them in meeting new people, stepping out of their comfort zones, etc...."

Another friend told me to "make sure you don't miss what God is trying to show you through all of this".  That was great advice.  I found myself avoiding spending quiet time alone with God for a few weeks prior to our move because I was in such a state of denial.  I knew if I was alone with God, I had to talk about the inevitable and I just didn't want to.  I needed to come back to Jesus and spend time with Him.

Lastly, and this is what has stuck with me the most...Someone told me that "following God's plan is important.  Sure, it's hard going through the transition, but ultimately, you are helping to write your boy's testimony, by following God's will.  It will help make them into the men God wants them to be, and will become a big part of their own "story"."  

That really made me think. 

 It's not just MY story, it's their story too.  God is writing their story.

That was eye opening for me.

I don't ever want to get in the way of what God has planned for my boys.  I just need to trust Him.

So, that's what I am doing.  Trusting.  Living and trusting.  Day, by day.  And no matter what, I will praise Him because He is Lord and He has done great things.

"This is my story.  This is my song.  Praising my Savior all the day long."